The Beach is Worth the Climb

I've come down with something and am not feeling too well today, so I'll just post some recent photos, make some hot tea, and then head straight to bed!

music for my day

Friendships that Inspire Me

I met Joanna the second day of my college career. She lived in the dorm room next to mine and struck up a conversation. From the very start it felt like talking to someone I'd known forever. She was wise beyond her years, understated, funny as can be, brilliant, considerate, caring, sensitive and conscientious. I always thought of her as an "old soul". We bonded over class schedules, music, crazy and brilliant professors, ballet class, Beverly Hills 90210 nights, dorm food, broken hearts, road trips, and more. She has always been someone of great integrity who never felt like she had to change who she was just to fit in. We became roommates, shared weekly trips to Farrell's for ice cream, stayed up all night talking, tried to build our life plans. We both spent part of our junior year abroad. I headed to London and she to Jerusalem. I studied art history and she was fascinated with archaeology. We met up during our spring break together. She flew to London and we took an incredible trip to Scotland and the Netherlands. After we graduated from college, we both moved to separate cities and stayed in touch not nearly as often as I would have liked. But she's always been one of those friends where it doesn't matter if I just saw her yesterday or if it has been 10 years...there's no awkwardness or anything. Just familiarity. Over the years between college and now I'd get an occassional email from her from all over the world. Thailand. Zimbabwe. Darfur. Boston. She was in the Peace Corps and has worked in some of the world's most devastated areas doing humanitarian work. My life has taken a much different route. But whenever I hear from her, she is a huge inspiration to me. I only wish I could make the impact on the world that she has and will in her lifetime.

I recently saw her at her wedding this summer. It had been so long since we'd really talked, and weddings are always the hardest events to try and catch up at. It was a beautiful wedding. But bittersweet, as during the reception her stepfather had a heart attack and she (being a newly graduated nurse practioner) had to give him CPR until the paramedics came. A grueling amount of time went by in that period of waiting. It was surreal. At one of the most joyous events of one's life, how did it happen that something so tragic occurred? Why did it have to be the bride who was the only one there who could respond? But of course it was her. She saved his life, my amazing friend. And now I just received a letter from her that she and her husband are off to help save lives in Sudan. I anxiously await to hear more of her life story, as it always inspires me to do more with my own.

to nurture

I just ran across this quote online and it can be applied just as easily to motherhood:

"I have come to a frightening conclusion.

I am the decisive element in the classroom.

It is my personal approach that creates the climate.

It is my daily mood that makes the weather.

As a teacher I possess tremendous power to make a child's life miserable or joyous.

I can be a tool of torture or an instrument of inspiration.

I can humiliate or humor, hurt or heal.

In all situations, it is my response that decides whether a crisis

will be escalated or de-escalated, and a child humanized or de-humanized."

-Haim Ginott

I know I want to be the best mother I can be to my little boy - now, as he grows, and forever. I want to be his source of comfort, security, the one solid thing he can always count on. It is easy to get caught up in all of the other responsibilities and stressors in our adult lives, but raising our children is the most important job we'll ever know.

You have to pour love into a child, never ceasing. Love them and respect them or they will never grow up to love and respect themselves or others.

What an amazing responsibility.

ice cream days

Days spent with sun warming our bodies

Summertime ice cream cooling our thoughts

As we pause from splashing in the water

Taking a break from all that is routine

To do something so ordinary as this

That which renews our spirit

Providing memories and laughs

Life is good!

First Day of School

It was back-to-school day here for Marek. He was a bit apprehensive once we got to school and it was time for him to enter into his room. I had to gently pry him off of me and nudge him over to his teacher...but once he was with her, he did just fine! It is so nice to have the routine already established from last year. Same fantastic teacher, same classroom, same classmates! There will be new, younger children coming in the next week and I'm looking forward to seeing new faces (both children and moms!) at his school. The same few moms were hovering outside the door with one-way mirror/window into the room at pickup. There's a small core of us who get there early to check in on our children and see how things are going. I'm excited to see where this school year takes him. One last year of preschool before Kindergarten! I'm still in denial of him ever growing up. Here's a few photos of my cutie on his first day:

A walk in the woods

“Reading about nature is fine, but if a person walks in the woods and listens carefully, he can learn more than what is in books, for they speak with the voice of God.” George Washington Carver

Haircut Time

It was time...I love his hair longer and floppy and wavy. But he has thick hair and I'm absolutely not skilled when it comes to anything other than a straight trim. It starts turning into a mullet or a big poof instead of that longish hip hairstyle I imagine. I attempted to do more recently and quickly thought better. Better leave it to the professionals, right? Every time he gets a haircut (which isn't very often, actually), I remember his curly blonde curls he had as a baby and toddler. Where did they go?

Here is a "before" shot and a few "after" shots.

singing cards

I've never been a fan of those Hallmark cards that play music or sing to you when you open them. But my son is. A huge fan. Everytime we're in Hallmark or other card shops, (which is kind of - at least seasonally - often because I'm a big believer in still sending people cards for just about any old reason), my little guy heads straight to the aisle with the musical cards. I'm sure the other customers and the workers just love it (ha) when someone comes in and plays just about every card in the music aisle. But I let him because he loves it and because when he finds a card he really likes (like the one that plays "Ring of Fire" or "Celebration" or "The Chicken Dance") he gets a big grin on his face and his foot just gets wild tapping to the music and dancing. So cute. I know I mentioned that I am not a big fan of those cards, but sometimes in the right context things change... I was the lucky recipient of one last Mother's Day and it was the best card I could have ever imagined. In his sweet little voice he recorded, "Happy Mother's Day Mommy, I love you!" I hope I can open that card for years to come and have it never lose that recording. Whenever I listen to it, I just feel like the luckiest person in the world.

Music...another recent addition to our family is a new-to-us piano. I love it! A home just isn't a home without a piano, at least not if you have a musically-oriented child. I love reuniting with the keys and Marek is having a great time experimenting. I'm not sure when the right time to start formal instruction is...I think I'll try to teach him a bit first until he's a little older.

impossible not to love

The other night Marek had crawled into my bed to snuggle and I said to him, "someday when you are a really big boy, you won't want to snuggle with mommy anymore."

He replied, "Yes, but I will still love you."

a few reminders

Marek at 4 1/2:
Loves...

• fireflies
• snuggling
• music - playing guitar and piano and putting on shows
  
• books
• riding his bicycle with training wheels
• pretending to be...a waiter, a bus driver, a train conductor, builder of mountains, volcanoes and rivers.
• swimming at the pool
• trains
• stars
• nighttime walks with the flashlight
• writing
• painting & crafts & puppets
  
• helping cook
• fresh peaches & strawberries & lemonade & chocolate & bread & broccoli & blueberry muffins & bagels
• family
• gardening
  
• vacations & camping
  
• hotels & toy stores

Not so fond of:

• crowds
• heights
• spiders
• tomatoes
• getting his hair cut
  
• mommy working or going to the gym without him
  

Pool Party

Best Friends

Do you remember your first best friend as a child? I remember mine. We met in playschool and she was tall with long blonde hair and freckles like me. I thought she was the greatest and we spent many days together when we were little. Our mothers were really close too. In fact, they've remained good friends and have stayed in touch over the years, whereas my childhood friend and I grew apart as we grew older. She went to a different elementary school and middle school. After awhile we drifted apart and she moved across the country in high school.

I have so many memories of us from our youngest years, though. Playing dolls together, seeing the movie Annie and learning every single song on the album, making forts under her dining room table, playing in her backyard - turning the family's backyard shed into our playhouse, riding bikes around the neighborhood, pretending we were sisters and lived in the television show "Silver Spoons", going to "Indian Princesses" with our dads, spending the night at each other's houses, playing board games...what fun memories!

Marek has just found his first special childhood friend. They go to preschool together and have just hit it off. They balance each other well and I love seeing them play together. It's also a bonus that his friend's mother has become a friend of mine too!

Summertime Memories

What do you remember about your childhood? When he is old and gray some day will he look back on his early years and remember things like snuggling with mommy, going on walks, constructing rivers in the sandbox, picking peaches in the summertime, singing silly songs we make up, splashing in the pool...and how dearly I love him? I certainly hope so.

Summer Vacation - Smilebox

Make a Smilebox slideshow

my first "baby" Lily

Years before I was blessed with Marek, I became a mother to a wild, quirky, loveable puppy named Lily. I found her in the "free to a good home" ads in the Bloomington, Indiana newspaper. I drove out into the country to a Cape Cod-style home to a family with small boys and an older hunting dog, Lily's mother. Lily was a surprise to her first owners as her mother was already 9 years old. Lily was also unique in that she was the only puppy in her litter. Really the only one - no stillborns or anything - just her! She was just 6 weeks old (which was probably too young to leave her mother, in my opinion, but her mother was already showing signs of pushing her out into the world on her own according to the owners). She was all white except for a black spot near her eye. She was energetic, happy, and friendly. Her mother, Britney, was a gorgeous orange-and-white English Setter. Her father unknown. I used to imagine the scenario played out like this... Late one night a beautiful Britney was taking a walk and ran into Bachelor Dog. He sauntered over and said, "What's a fine girl like you doing out on a night like this?" She replies, (in a high, delicate Southern accent), "Just walkin', I guess." And the rest is history. Anyway, I adopted Lily that day. She came home wrapped in an old, torn flannel shirt that she'd be lying on and I got a quick education in puppyhood: wimpers, barking, potty training, dealing with worms (this is perhaps the most unpleasant memory I have), chewing up everything in sight, mouthing, jumping, LEAPING over people sitting on the couch... Have you seen the movie "Marley & Me"? Marley had a kindred spirit in Lily during her puppy days. During her first year she chewed through the dyer hose, basebords, unraveled sections of our berber carpeting, shredded a papasan, dug a hole in my mattress, chewed through shoes, toys, and pretty much anything in sight. I used to "escape" on my bed until that dreaded day when she grew big enough to jump up on it!

Not to say there wasn't an effort to train her and tame that wild spirit. I did potty train her in a very short time by walking her outside at every whimper night or day (good sleep deprivation training for later newborn child months!). I pored over dog training guidebooks at the library. I asked friends for advice. We enrolled in the much-recommended obedience class taught a former K-9 officer. Crate training, reward systems, dominance positions, command training...nothing worked for very long. It's a good thing she was so darn cute and sweet at times too! She begged, she leapt over the back fence, she escaped out of the fenced areas of the kennel...and boy could she run. She was lightning fast. I used to take her to a large park/fairgrounds area to run free often. Other parkgoers would comment on her speed asking, "is she part Greyhound?" [OK, clearly they didn't know what Greyhounds look like!]

She had some really crazy experiences too. One time while running free with her at a park near our home, a big black dog chased her. She ran so fast out of the park and down the street that I never thought I'd see her again. Luckily she ran straight to a neighbor's house a few blocks away and he held her there until I arrived, out of breath and panicked from the search. When she was about 3 months old a wolf chased her at another park and she ran so fast she slid under a fence and dropped about 20 feet onto concrete to escape. Good thing her little body was rubbery! And I'm serious about the wolf thing. Minutes earlier I heard the owner being asked by someone nearby, "What breed is your dog? He looks like a wolf!" The owner of said dog uncomfortably reply, "Umm...well, he is part wolf. I really don't tell people how much wolf he is or they freak out." She also lept without looking into various creeks, lakes, and sludgey midwestern ponds. But she had a grand time and was such a fun dog to have around!

She didn't bark for her first year or so. Funny, as now her bark is so loud and piercing it's the #1 complaint I have (as do others) about her. Her wild chewing, crazy antics dramatically decreased between 1-2 years of age. But she was still full of crazy energy until a couple of years ago. My life went through some difficult changes and she didn't have the opportunity to run as much or as often as she used to. We moved several times and she put on weight. And now recently she's had some health difficulties that make me wonder how long she's going to be with me. She's only 10 years old, so she really should be still in her prime, not having such poor health suddenly. When I take her on a walk or for a run, she wanders but doesn't run with abandon like she used to. She drinks water all the time, lies around most of the time, has continual troubles with her stomach, and just seems sad and physically in poor condition. It makes me sad, especially as I know my energies shifted away from her once Marek was born. It's time for yet another vet appointment to see if they can figure out what's going on. She has developed a thyroid condition, but this seems a little more worrisome. She gets up countless times throughout the night.

Lily, it's been a wild and delightful ride. And I hope we still have many years together! Here are some photos from her later years. I'll have to search for some puppy photos as she was so cute!!!

missing the baby stage

I love my little boy endlessly. But I also really miss the baby stage. I have several friends who felt that having a newborn and a small baby was the least enjoyable part of motherhood. They really looked forward to the toddler and preschooler years much more. I've honestly enjoyed each stage with my little one as it brings new joys, challenges and memories. But there's just something about babies that I *love*! The best days, even with all of the sleepless nights. Looking back at Marek around two months old: