missing the baby stage

I love my little boy endlessly. But I also really miss the baby stage. I have several friends who felt that having a newborn and a small baby was the least enjoyable part of motherhood. They really looked forward to the toddler and preschooler years much more. I've honestly enjoyed each stage with my little one as it brings new joys, challenges and memories. But there's just something about babies that I *love*! The best days, even with all of the sleepless nights. Looking back at Marek around two months old:

baby toes

My son's birthday is about a month away and he seems determined to not turn four! He tells me that he wants to stay three - or sometimes he even wants to be 1 or 2 again. He looked up at a photo in my home the other day and asked his grandma how old he was in it. When she replied, "1 year old," he said, "I want to be that old!" He did this last year, too, as he was about to turn 3. I have to admit that there are times I miss little baby toes and little baby fingers to kiss and cuddle. My sister recently mentioned how she wants to pick up every baby she sees. I know the feeling! I really love Marek at this age, but there's something to be said for that precious time when children are so tiny.

I still remember vividly being pushed along in the hospital wheelchair, in the middle of the night after giving birth to Marek. I'm holding my tightly swaddled newborn gently and protectively on my lap as a nurse pushes me along. We were on our way from the birthing room to my new room post-delivery. The nurse said, "Oh I just love that smell of a newborn. They only smell that way just after they're born - it's such a sweet baby smell!" And she was right. You never forget that smell or that moment, ever. There are only a few moments in life that I'd like to wrap myself around and bottle them up forever to experience over and over again. That is one of them.

Congratulations Kari!

My dear friend in Washington just gave birth to her first baby girl last night! Congratulations Mama! I can't wait to meet the little one.

Baby Shower Season

I'm getting ready for my third baby shower of the past few weeks today. My best friend in Washington state is due at the beginning of October. (Several acquaintences also from Washington are pregnant or just had a baby.) Last weekend I gave a shower for a good friend here in town that is due at the end of October. Now two of my coworkers have wives who are expecting their first babies (one in November, one in January), so we're giving them a shower this evening. Since I love shopping for babies, this has been great!

Marek was a newborn in this photo above...

Now that Marek is almost four, I have been missing having a little baby around. I used to think I'd have 3 children. Probably because I come from a family of three kids. Of course, when I was about 10 years old, I really wanted 9 children. (!!!) I had created an elaborate future scenario for myself which included marrying a man from Germany named Augustine [because a) I was becoming interested in my German heritage and b) Augustine was about the only German name I could think of since it was also part of a piano song "Ach du lieber Augustine" that I was learning at the time]. I can't remember what I thought his occupation would be, but I had created a future for myself where I was a writer and mom of 9. I had names for everyone of them - but I can only remember Todd and Dominique.

A friend of mine recently shared this quote with me and I love it:

"Motherhood is not what we imagined.

It is more delightful, more heartbreaking...

It is not the calm after the storm we have been led to expect.

It is almost more than a person can bear. Almost." - Ariel Gore, author of The Mother Trip